Volunteers

Locked in a room
With six other dudes
The leaders
The Board of Directors

Decisions needed
Plans of action
Of attack

Something
Anything

All we do
Is disagree
Fighting over nothing
Clucking
Squabbling

Going nowhere
Our members tire
Directors retire
One guy expires
Fighting fire
For hire

Board of Directors
Room for deflectors
Sprockets
Driving a chain
Round and round

Doing nothing
For nothing

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Eluded

Why aren’t you here
where I need you most?

Why aren’t you here
as I call out to you?

Deaf, I listen for you
between echoes of futility
repeating in my head.

Blind, I look for you
in this abysmal void
of my endless night.

Are you there?
Are you anywhere?

Are you–were you ever–real?

Why I Cower

I’m like a lion in the cage
when you come in wielding
your whip and wooden stool.

The kids see the fear in my eyes
and think it’s the whip
driving me back into the corner.

They don’t appreciate my need
to prioritize my attention
on the one most immediate threat.

They don’t realize I’m looking
at the four legs of that stool
all moving in perfect unison.

Four separate points of interest
–four separate threats–
all attacking with equal immediacy.

I am not afraid of the weapon.
I am afraid of the chair.
I am afraid of the thing they take for granted.

But I’m not a lion in a cage.
You aren’t a circus tamer
and they aren’t children.

We’re just two people
in a casual conversation
trying to get to know each other.

But my anxiety and fear are still evident
in my eyes and my body language,
and they still misunderstand

why I cower.

Jealousy

you only seem to appreciate
the uniqueness of special
when I go off without you

do you see your own hypocrisy
when you go off without me
making special memories

while you expect me
to just sit here
waiting for you?

Funny

I think I’m funny
at a subconscious level.
I think I’m funny
so deep in my psyche
I belt out jokes
without thinking before I speak.
 
I want to make friends
and keep them for life.
But I think I’m funny
so that’s not working out
like I had hoped it would
 
because I’m not funny.