Unconsidered

If… then…
The skeleton
of hypothesis
The first step
of try

If I free
I will hurt

Every other
possibility

unconsidered.

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Altars, Side-By-Side

I still remember the call
Waking me from restful slumber
The morning after our anniversary

We’d returned to our honeymoon
Cottage behind the bistro
Where we only remembered joy

Mom told me you’d gone
I could only say okay
And pass the phone on

She told us you’d waited
Held out for one more day
To keep holy our altar of joy

These two altars now sit side-by-side
Impacting how we experience each
Shaping how each impacts us

You would have wanted celebration
Of our marriage and of your life
So we humbly give you both

You live on in those who remember
And your memory is irrevocably tied
To this union you happily blessed

We love you, daddy.
We still miss you everyday.

Chill

If I could only stop
The chill that horripilates

Anger perpetuates
Fear manipulates
Narcissism masterbates

It is a violent chill
Contrasted by words believed

Momentarily reprieved
Comfort received
Leaving you relieved

But only until the chill
Bites again at your soul

Turtle and Rabbit

Turtle sits and watches Rabbit
Turtle sits alone
Quiet and content
At home in his own shell

Rabbit jumps around the room
Mounting anything that moves
Rabbit pulls everyone’s attention
Needing every bit he can get

Turtle sits statue-still
Watching Rabbit jump around the room
Turtle is so very happy
Rabbit doesn’t mount Turtle anymore

Dead Butterflies

Decade and a half ago
When in my door you walked
If you’d asked me then
To consider when
Oh, how I would have balked

If you would have suggested then
That all those butterflies would be dead
I would have argued just as fierce
I would have lost that fight

The only difference for me now
Is a pile of brittle wings aground
Reminding me how once they fluttered
Forgetting nothing’s never uttered
Goodnight, good night
I know I’ll miss you so

If you would have suggested then
That all those butterflies would be dead
I would have doubted every word you said
I would have lost that fight

That only difference, all those dead
Pave the lonely road I tread
Rumbling thunder through my ache
Denying nothing stays the same
Goodnight, lost love
Know I will miss you so

Scars From Wanting Love

My cat crawls into my lap.
His choice, not mine.
Nonetheless, I welcome him
and do my best to accommodate,
because I love him
and want to touch him more.

But, sometimes I’m not to his liking.
My posture or the placement of my arm
just doesn’t live up to expectation.

So he nibbles, 
bites, 
kneads 
and scratches,
all to let me know
he is not okay with me.

But I am not okay
sitting there
accommodating him
while he abuses me,
hurts me,
demanding I change
for him.

So, I face my choice:
Do I stay and endure abuse
while changing all my ways
just to accommodate him,
trying to live up to his expectations?
Or, do I push him away,
forfeiting my desire to touch him?

Whatever I do
doesn’t change what I want.

I want to touch him more.
I want him to purr in my arms.
I want him to want me
and to accept me just as I am;
just as I accept him.

For You, Coward

I didn’t do it to you
I did it
For me
I did it because
I am me

Sit on your couch
Stand at your station
Rage across these roads
Waving your spite
Left back to right

I still did it
And I’d do it again
And even then it wouldn’t be
To, about, or because of you

I’ve given you this thought
And that is one more
Than any coward deserves

So, alas, I digress
Happy to be me